Its about that time of life it seems… Where I cast off that which is weighty and hold that which is truly me… Oddly enough, since the accident everything has changed mentally and my expectations and admirations in life have taken a back road to the new desires and ambitions. Imagine being born again with a new self… I remember myself and yet I’m new….
At any rate, computers are beginning to bore me. They offer nothing to me any more, just the same redundant things over and over. I feel like a kid playing with an old video game… Blah.
I’m 36, and nothing provides me mental stimulation. All I think about anymore is moving far away from everything and everyone, into a place where no human exists… And never will.
I love life, I’m just confused. I don’t know what I want.
Just to get it off my soul I’ll say it here… Everyday in my vehicle to and from work I have to hold myself back from crying while listening to music. I feel no emotion at that time but for some reason I feel myself collapse inside. It would be easier if it was attached to a feeling… It scares me.