Pain from prosthetic

I’m taking this time to unload because this is becoming so mentally tiresome and emotionally burdensome.  It seems like no matter how hard I try, I’m not able to get a prosthetic that will operate without pain as an everyday thing.  The pain is minimal at first – a little skin rubbing and the tap of the end of your leg against the inside.  After a while, it becomes more pronounced.  The bottom of your limb larger than your limb after a full day of walking around, the sensation of things you know can’t be happening, and that constant ache.  Both mental and physical ache for me.  I want to run again, and my leg after half a day literally feels like I have maggots eating away at my dieing flesh.  The pain spikes with every movement of my leg then.

I’m trying to work through this piece by piece, but right now I’m breaking down.  I’ve lost enough with friends and loved ones dieing, and losing my identity slowly the last 2 years.  I want to walk like a man.  I want to be a man again… Without the constant pain masked by me so no one else knows.

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