Life is masochistic. It can be beautiful.

As life progresses, I’m finding myself heading into a new chapter. I’ll call it middle-age, by number alone. When I was younger, I’ve seen many people living that same life, and I NEVER want that for myself. Everyone suddenly turned ultra-conservative “republican”, and pushing religious passive-aggressive self-entitled rants constantly. I’ve promised myself a couple of years ago that if it continues I’ll push for isolation.
As disturbing as it seems, I miss the pain of the years before. It taught me a lot, and reminded me regularly. Now, I’m finding the “success” of life insulates you. To me, that insulation is smelling like rot, festering. As I think now how to raise myself out from myself to the surface and take charge once more.
I’m 38 now, only 2 more years until 40. It’s time to prepare.