I figured time would disclose all things after my motorcycle accident in 2007, and I was right. After 4 years my cranial injuries are starting to show effects. Memory is a minor impact, and completely able to work around it. The main impact is an electrical interference occuring in the temporal lobe sporadically. What causes it appears to be deep cognitive thought processes, which seem to cause a bizarre ‘misfire’ that sends nervous system impulses off pattern. In a nutshell, it’s a neural version of blacking out… without reaching the full unconscious phase. The doctors call it a temporal simple seizure.
For anyone who knows me, it’s akin to putting nitroglycerin on a shuttle… it’s going to happen no matter what. I think, it’s the only thing I ever do. The worst day has been a week ago where nearly every 10 minutes an episode happened at work. I learned that day how to work right through one. I refuse to let anything but death stop me. Disturbingly enough, every episode feels like death creeping in and taking my soul from my body.
For anyone reading this, I’ve found that disconnecting yourself from the situation is the only way to truly own the moment. Think like a scientist, and concentrate on breathing slow deep life-giving breathes. I’ve taught myself over the years how to control my heart and body by thought… I never thought I’d need it…
Above all I remind myself, I am a soldier of one. The only weapon against you in situations is your self.
The Sociopathic Mind of a Certified Eclectic 